Wow, 50% of marriages end up lasting forever !

几周前,我在豆瓣看过一篇文章,标题很吸引眼球,叫做[直播。我在美国做escort]。点进去一看,哇靠,居然不是标题党,是玩真的,很兴奋的读完了,惊奇的发现下面的留言居然是一水的: “楼主你太强了! ” ,“楼主注意安全哦!”,“楼主肯定是美女!对不对!” 。。一个假惺惺的卫道士都没有,让我恍然以为来到了黄色网站 —— “任何一条新闻都能引起中国网民的对骂,唯独上黄色论坛的网民素质高,从来没见过骂人的,全部是:楼主辛苦了,谢谢楼主,楼主好人一生平安。” 豆瓣居然已经上升到黄网的素质,对此我表示老怀欣慰。

虽然偶有出入脱衣舞俱乐部,但escort界我还真不大了解,于是很好奇宝宝的股沟了一番。真是不股不知道,一沟吓一跳啊,伦敦最顶级的伴游女郎,脸蛋胜过Scarlett Johansson,身材堪比Angelina Jolie,论时薪,居然比我还便宜,200镑/小时,可以包夜,还包邮哦亲!漂亮的跟白粉一样,白菜价就卖,性价比高到木有天理!我都看不下去!于是跟几个中国哥们儿英国哥们儿感慨,我怎么不是男的啊,我要是男的,我绝对不结婚,反正不缺钱,我就每周换。那么多貌美如花,热情似火的姑娘,招之即来,挥之即去,只要200镑/小时,就能阅尽人间春色,洞房夜夜换新人,高矮胖瘦,黑白美丑。。我靠,简直不虚此肾啊!

所有男同学都双眼放光,流露出无限向往的表情,嘴上却说, “不是吧,我觉得还是找个女朋友好吧。。”

“切,少来,装B被雷劈啊!”

于是所有男同学都呈现这样的状态 [好得意][好得意][好得意][好得意][好得意]

我不由思索了一下,既然世界上有这种可能性的存在,为什么还有男人愿意结婚,找根绳往自己脖子上套呢?想了半天,除非他是SM爱好者,喜欢被捆绑,这个境界太高,真理解不来。。只能懊丧的不想了。

然后今天有个同事给我发了篇文章,叫:不结婚的十个理由,看完第一条,我已经笑的直不起腰来了,看完十条,我觉得,朝闻道,夕面瘫可矣。这篇文章简直就是我的心声啊!简直就是内个男版的我写的啊!废话不多说,奇文共赏析,太长,我就不翻了。

In February 2010, the office for National Statistics published their findings on marriage, in Britain, which showed that in Wales and England, the rate of people taking the plunge is at it’s lowest since 1895. Whatsmore, over the past decade, the mean age for getting married for a man in Britain has risen by five and a half years to 36.5. All of which makes you wonder: is marriage actually a good thing?

Marriage was created in the days of governmental control and religious choke holds on the people. The idea of spending forever with someone was bearable because humans only lived until the ripe old age of 40. However, this isn’t your great-great granddad’s black-and-white world anymore.

This isn’t an argument against love or being with the person that makes you happy (for any extended period of time), it’s just an argument against the actual institution of marriage and all of the outdated rules that surround the entire concept.

No.10 Marriage will make her let herself go

Women gain weight in the relationship because of child birth, but a recent study from the University of Queensland in Australia confirms that even women that don’t have a kid end up gaining a substantial amount of weight in wedded bliss.

According to the findings, a woman will gain up to 15 pounds if she had a partner but no baby in the first 10 years of marriage. The study goes on to explain that there are metabolic changes over that time so the weight gain can only be attributed to altered behaviour. The altered behaviour is not putting in the time and effort in their fitness routines and eating habits.

Men are just as guilty for letting themselves evolve into a chubby hubby and this gives women a get-out-of-dieting-free card. She might look good now, but add at least 10 pounds to her frame after the wedding ring slides on the finger.

No.9 Marriage is the end of options

Variety is the spice of life. Spice is also the name of the stripper dancing on your lap and slipping you her mobile number. No more of that Mr. Married. Settling down with one woman eliminates the wide selection of women and the thrill of the chase.

No more flings with a co-worker, gym pickups, one-night stands, and no more crazy chicks. Crazy chicks make dating so much fun! Plus, watch what happens the minute you get hitched. Not only do a ton of potential bed buddies come crawling out of the woodwork like carpenter ants, but all the women in your life that you could have scored with start admitting a sexual interest but say: “Too bad you’re getting married.” Yes. Too bad indeed.

No.8 Marriage is expensive

Facts and figures released each year by the wedding industries prove that weddings are getting out of control when it comes to cost. Last year, the average cost of a wedding in Britain was £21,000. Most marital issues are rooted in problems with money (usually a lack of it), so it’s probably not the best idea to kick-start a marriage choking on debt from a wedding cake and a band that ignored all the songs on your “don’t play” list.

Sure you’ve got two incomes, but now the questions about how, where and why you spend your money start to creep into the conversation. You have to explain why you spend the money you make like your mum is asking where all your pocket money goes. When is marriage the most expensive? When it ends in divorce.

No.7 Marriage is just paperwork

It’s perfectly acceptable to be in a monogamous relationship with someone you love and care for, but why do you need a piece of paper from the state or church? Marriage certificates are an unnecessary and potentially expensive formality just to share health insurance. If the two of you are happy with the current agreement, why rock the boat? Is it because of family pressures and the constant “when are you getting married?” questions from all the miserable people stuck in a marriage and looking to suck you into their black hole of depression? That’s so sweet of them.

No.6 Marriage is the end of spontaneity

Married couples love to tell people they are still spontaneous. It’s like when people tell you they don’t take crap or that they are not someone you want to mess with. They are full of crap. Spontaneous people don’t talk about how spontaneous they are because they are too busy going places and living a full life.

Married people have a diluted and compromised idea of spontaneity. They have spontaneous ideas that then involve months of planning, calendar juggling and last minute cancellations that become “we will do that soon.” They’d love to hop a flight for a weekend trip to Vegas, but that money would be better spent on the bills or putting money into buying a bigger house. Spontaneity also leads to a ton of compromise. Compromise sucks.

No.5 Marriage is constant compromise

Life is meant to be lived; to experience everything before the long dirt nap. Hard to accomplish everything when you spend half the time doing the things she wants to do. Well, you did get to pick the activity last week. You wanted to go to go white water rafting and now she wants to catch a Patrick Swayze marathon on Channel 4 and needs you around to watch her cry and restock her tissue supply.

Compromise isn’t just associated with small decisions. You’re going to have to come to an agreement on where you live, where your money goes and a million other choices you make, just to make her happy.

No.4 Marriage is the end of sex

There is still sex — occasionally. Those occasions are usually holidays, birthdays and when you’ve been a particularly good boy. It’s as bland as a sugar-free cookie. It’s always in the same location, boring position and ends the same way every time.

Want to try something new? Not tonight. Not ever, if we are being honest. Sure, some women will experiment, but it won’t be a long-term move added to the routine. Those early days of screwing like an Ikea veteran are long over.

No.3 Marriage often fails

Would you risk your life on the flip of a coin? Heads you live, tales you die. You do have a 50-50 chance, but are those really good odds for even giving it a shot? Not as drastic or life threatening, but over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Even people, who are truly in love with each other and the idea of spending the rest of their lives with one person find themselves in divorce. If you fall right in the middle on the idea of marriage (obviously, you have concerns, you’re reading this article), how can you make it work when people who want to get married can’t even stay together?

No.2 Marriage is the end of taking risks

Life involves risks — some that work out and some that crack you in the face and knock you back to the beginning. So what do you do? Take a risk and try all over again. This is fine so long as you’re the only person who suffers from the setbacks.

You can’t take chances when another person’s life, money, health, and future are in your hands. That would be a pretty selfish thing to do. Marriage means you’re keeping the best interests of two people in mind during every decision. Sure, it might keep you from making the leap into some pretty dumb moves, but it might also hold you back from pulling the trigger on an idea that will make your life better forever.

No.1 Marriage is forever

Think about the person you were a few years ago. Now think back a few years before that to how different it seems from life now. Now ponder the person you will be 10 years from now; you’re likely slightly similar but with many new tastes, feelings, emotions, and at a much different place in life. Is it really possible to think, or want, another human to come along for that crazy ride? No more risks, no more weekend trips to anywhere and all that compromise, money wasted and lack of sex for the rest of your days on earth. Until death do you part. You may now kiss the bride. Hopefully it’s “goodbye.”

看完了没有?不看完别往下看啊。。

说实话,我从来都不能理解婚姻,我并不反对它,只是不理解。一男一女,互相喜欢,那么在一起不就好了么?干嘛非去领张纸?一张纸能保证什么?除了部分财产以外什么都保证不了。可要是对方真不喜欢你了,把自己的财产转移掉还不容易?所以何必呢?

我喜欢你就是因为我喜欢你,套一个枷锁在我头上我并不会更喜欢你,反而会心生恐惧,哇,一辈子那么长,我真要跟这个大马猴锁在一起么?婚姻本身并没有错,只是当我想起这是社会和法律硬塞给我的一个义务我就觉得很寒,我自己的感情生活,凭什么要别人来规定我该怎么做?“人在爱欲之中,独生独死,独去独来。苦乐自当,无有代者。” 我心似野马,只想有另一匹野马陪我在无边的草原上飞奔,假如有一天,我们不想一起跑了,那就挥手自兹去,萧萧班马鸣。相濡以沫也可以,相忘于江湖也可以。在一起不用去领什么证,不在一起也不用分割财产或者公告天下。多好。Nice and simple, once and for all.

当然非常热爱婚姻的人和小宇宙不够强大的人,您不请自来,看了以上长篇废话也不能怪我,有个好消息告诉您,Joe Wong 脱口秀里说的,“I have a family now, but I used to be really scared about marriage. I was like, wow, 50% of all marriages end up lasting forever!” 您一定是那lasting forever的50%!祝您幸福!

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  1. #1 by obadobad on January 10, 2012 - 00:37

    沙发我大

  2. #2 by obadobad on January 10, 2012 - 00:37

    坐完再看。印小姐你真的是女人吗?LOL

  3. #3 by 印月 on January 10, 2012 - 00:44

    我是啊。据说我不是完全象男人,有一部分想法很女性化。

    • #4 by 老虎 on February 9, 2012 - 04:07

      长着女人身体的男人。

      • #5 by 印月 on February 13, 2012 - 11:42

        我挺女的其实。前几天问了身边最近的几个哥们儿,都说我很温柔很有女人味,嘿嘿,我得意的笑,又得意的笑~

  4. #6 by Feng on January 10, 2012 - 00:55

    哈哈,男人的心声啊,女人都象你一样,这世界就是欢乐的天堂

    • #7 by 猫时间 on January 10, 2012 - 02:07

      可是据说男人到高龄了其实比女人更需要婚姻和家庭,而老女人们反倒更洒脱些,所以说男人们别得瑟得太早哦,吼吼吼~~

  5. #8 by dengaiwu on January 10, 2012 - 01:04

    现在是坦桑尼亚时间凌晨三点。昨晚听住同一宾馆的一位刚从乞力马扎罗山回来的川妹子讲她只身一人、花了六天时间爬上非洲最高峰-乞力马扎罗山顶,欣赏到月满大地的壮丽景色,直觉得前日我写的博文“月满非洲”跟她见到的景致一比简直不值一提。于是整夜憧憬乞力马扎罗山的事儿,连觉也睡不着了,便爬起来看博客,居然在月姑娘这里看到这般好文。这下值了!哈哈~~

  6. #9 by 印月 on January 10, 2012 - 01:06

    恩,我看了你的博客,还没来的及留言呢。满天飞啊你真是

  7. #10 by 不倒翁 on January 10, 2012 - 01:40

    你真是帅的一塌糊涂~~身为一个女生。。我真心喜欢和欣赏的就是你这么豪爽的女侠~咔咔~外表妖娆内心爷们~~

  8. #12 by t2o2 on January 10, 2012 - 01:55

    让我想起战争之王里面解释为什么犹太人要戴小帽子。To remind us there is always something above us.

  9. #14 by CC7T on January 10, 2012 - 01:59

    奇文共赏

    • #15 by 印月 on January 10, 2012 - 10:43

      内牛满面,饮光兄你莫非已经肉身翻墙?

  10. #16 by 猫时间 on January 10, 2012 - 02:05

    呵呵,不过我还是认为不同的人生阶段会对婚姻有不同的感受啦,爱昏也好爱单也好,能自由选择才是顶顶重要滴。

    BTW,歇了很久,月姑娘终于现身,这才是可喜可贺之事啊,我表示老怀欣慰耶耶耶~~

    • #17 by 印月 on January 10, 2012 - 10:47

      所以结尾我才写的那么complex,fusion,德味,温馨感人啊。。关键就是,个人有个人的阶段,环境,爱好,未婚的不必羡慕婚了的,婚了也不必念叨未婚的好。各取所需,何必围城。

  11. #18 by Beya on January 10, 2012 - 02:24

    你太看重结婚这个事了。如你所说,不就是一张纸么,称之为枷锁,或者义务什么的,言之过重。两个结了婚的人以后不想在一起了,可以离婚。依我看,离婚和分手没什么不同,结婚和“一起跑”也没有什么不同。committing to a relationship才是关键!!!!!!月,你是真的不想结婚呢,还是不想要relationship呢?

    我在美国做escort 那个贴我也看了。。。。我脚得Secret Diary of a Call Girl对这个行业的普及教育和宣传功不可没。

  12. #19 by 猫时间 on January 10, 2012 - 02:26

    还想说的是月姑娘钟情的生活方式其实和摩梭人的走婚有点类似嘞,不婚,但是对伴侣依旧忠诚,如果有了新的选择,那一定不会脚踏两只船~~

  13. #20 by Wenjun on January 10, 2012 - 02:36

    围城呀,围城….
    已婚男观望而过….

    • #21 by haililiu on January 11, 2012 - 16:13

      车胎爆了,停下来说两句!

      • #22 by 印月 on January 11, 2012 - 16:23

        人见人爱,花见花开,车见车爆胎,说的就是您啊!

  14. #23 by Beya on January 10, 2012 - 02:43

    打了一段话没了。。。。。

    身为已婚妇女,我来说两句:结婚这个事儿真没有你看得那么重,枷锁阿,义务阿,什么的。从这点上来看,你以后要是结婚了,一定也属于lasting forever的50%!!!!!

    如你所说,不就是一张纸么?在澳洲同居两年就算事实婚姻了。结不结婚的,有没有那张纸,还真的不是很重要。两个人以后不想在一起了,可以离婚,似乎也不是很复杂。依我看,离婚跟分手没有什么区别,结婚跟“一起跑”也没有什么区别。关键是committing to a relationship!!!!月,你到底是不想结婚呢,还是不想要relationship?

    豆瓣上那个贴我也看到了,好神奇,我脚得Secret Diary of a Call Girl对这个行业的普及教育和宣传功不可没。

    • #24 by 印月 on January 10, 2012 - 10:53

      我谈个恋爱都四五年,结婚肯定是冲着一辈子去的,所以才能拖就拖。一辈子那么长,急什么急?

      我对commitment啥的都没问题,我就是觉得,感情吧,应该是自由市场,可婚姻这个行为呢,类似于垄断,完全是自由市场的对立面。Once you are married, you forgo all other possibilities, that’s what scares the shit out of me..

      • #25 by Beya on January 10, 2012 - 23:43

        我赞同你说的“垄断”这个类比。我其实觉得婚姻制度(一夫一妻,一夫多妻,一妻多夫,whatever)都属于人类社会必将消除的私有制。。。我以前和小戈讨论过这个问题,反共势力宣传共产党的“共产共妻(共夫)”,其实确实是大同世界里人类的生存状态。合则聚,不合则散。至于这种形势是一男一女,还是两女一男,或者三男共存(哈哈哈突然脑子里闪现搞笑画面),全看当事人自愿。

        叫它共产主义也好,utopia也好,我还是愿意相信这个蓝图实现的可能。

      • #26 by 印月 on January 10, 2012 - 23:48

        如果是一大群男人,我想起了[人体蜈蚣]。。。哈哈哈哈哈,邪恶的大笑中

      • #27 by Beya on January 10, 2012 - 23:54

        我前天在豆瓣上刚看了这个人体蜈蚣的剧照 恶心死我了 好变态!

      • #28 by 印月 on January 10, 2012 - 23:58

        我没看过,但我听过详细的描述,太变态了,太凛冽了!寒毛倒竖啊!

      • #29 by Ken G on November 7, 2013 - 14:01

        啥人体蜈蚣?非常想知道,俺孤陋寡闻啦。。。。。。。。。。。。。

    • #30 by 依云 on January 10, 2012 - 13:39

      看贝老师的话,想说说我知道的一些情况。也许每个人的情况观点不同,但是还是有很多人把婚姻和义务或者责任放在一起的。我先生结婚前就是个云游僧,最大的乐趣是旅游航海滑雪摩托车买电子产品,而且年轻时没有考虑到经济问题, 只是考虑时间问题去度假。婚后他还是喜欢这些,但是他不会只因为喜欢疯狂买iphone新产品了,我很奇怪,他说,那个是浪费,要留钱干点别的,也不会买新摩托车了,说还不如买个房车。再后来居然说要安排我以后的生活。。。估计这就是婚后心态的改变,自己不自觉就上那条道上去了。

      我以前的一个同事同居8年,也总说committing 比PAPER更重要,但是他女朋友还是最后和别的男人选择了婚姻。

      • #31 by Beya on January 10, 2012 - 23:52

        对不起,很好奇地问一句:你们婚前同居过么?时间久么?你老公的这个转变(为将来存钱)是在婚后,还是commit之后?

        至于你举的后一个例子,只能说明你同事和他女友没有统一认识啊,一个往左,一个往右,当然分手了。这不能成为“commitment 比marriage更重要”的反面论据啊。他找个像月月这样的不就行了?不过这种女人真的很少很少,要抢!

      • #32 by 老虎 on February 9, 2012 - 04:03

        我觉得依云的说法代表了大部分男人的想法。

    • #33 by 老虎 on February 9, 2012 - 04:04

      how about财产分割。

  15. #34 by etoile on January 10, 2012 - 02:54

    不想结婚可能是内心真的很强大,可能是根本就没碰到特有感觉的人,也很可能永远都不知道自己是哪一种。

    • #35 by 依云 on January 11, 2012 - 09:54

      这个变化是婚后,婚前4年,不知道算长吗?

      至于同事,我曾经问过那女孩,为什莫? 她说, 年轻时候没有婚姻没有什莫,35岁后觉得希望那个男人求婚(她曾经拒绝过这个男人的求婚),后来就很强烈的希望结婚。我想人会随着年龄变化有不同的感受和需要吧。另外,婚姻的那张纸本来也不是保证爱情的,是法律义务或者社会道德的工具吧。

      • #36 by haililiu on January 11, 2012 - 16:31

        圈下这句闪光的话:“人会随着年龄变化有不同的感受和需要吧。”

        蓝宝石,红宝石,绿宝石,说起来五彩斑斓,其实无非是铜铁锶等等离子怎么掺和的问题。

        人今天喜欢啥,明天喜欢啥,也不过是身体里的激素等化学物质的变化使然。等激素没那么澎湃了,腿脚没那么灵便了,身边有个孩子占去你一半的时间了,自然就懒的折腾了。有些东西想象力再丰富也得等走过才会知道。

  16. #37 by 世緯 on January 10, 2012 - 04:37

    “你该结婚了“,你妈非常冷静地望着两眼放光的你说。

  17. #38 by 刘云歌 on January 10, 2012 - 05:07

    如果有一个互相欣赏互相保护的女孩在一起一辈子,结婚证哪有什么在乎的,可如果他想要或者我想送给她,一张纸就算在高山墓地又怎么不会努力拿到他呢,哈哈,和好人看一眼都是喜欢,不是你的,法律定你们俩一辈子,谁在乎,谁不敢违法呀

  18. #39 by 哇!蜜猪 on January 10, 2012 - 05:36

    我觉得价钱不止这个。光跳脱衣舞的都不止了。。。。。

    • #40 by 印月 on January 10, 2012 - 10:28

      http://www.affairgirls.co.uk

      这类网站我在公司打不开,凭记忆这个网站里的escort girls质量很高,footballer’s wife也不过如此

      更贵的当然有,多贵都行,问题是,质量还能更好吗?销售渠道,经营策略不同而已。。

  19. #41 by 依云 on January 10, 2012 - 09:17

    婚姻中的男女不只是体重增加的问题,还有一个顺应性和惰性。婚姻中的双方很容易实行一种折衷的生活方式,而这种方式却不一定是两个人的最佳部分,更可能是将就其中要求比较低或者说是质量比较低的那部分,然后温水青蛙最后就习惯了。一起生活和结婚在人们心中还是有差别的,至少我这样认为, 或者从我周围人中看到了很多,中国的外国的都一样。一起生活20年后结婚的人,他们为什莫?曾经问过这样的人, 婚前后他们心中有什莫不同的感受吗, 男女都说还是有些的。另外,我自己感觉,婚姻总会让人放低自己的要求和追求,以求达到两个人之间的平衡协调。

    • #42 by 印月 on January 10, 2012 - 11:03

      恩, 依云过来人啊,说的中肯。

      • #43 by 依云 on January 10, 2012 - 13:20

        月姑娘,抱歉,上次看得时候只是看了中文和你说的英文的第一段,英文的其他部分我没来得及看, 现在回来看时,我的留言其实在英文中已经提到了,6和5。 虽然话说得一样让你浪费了时间,不过我想这个文章中的某些观点我还是很赞同的。 不过No.8 Marriage is expensive这点我倒是看到过其他的论点,说婚姻中的两个人是可以比单独生活的两个人省钱的,不过没有提到这里说的婚礼消费。
        When is marriage the most expensive? When it ends in divorce.这点在欧美应该是男人不敢结婚的主要担忧。

  20. #44 by A on January 10, 2012 - 16:30

    Valid point, you have a free soul and are too gorgeous for marriage

  21. #45 by haililiu on January 10, 2012 - 16:31

    这是谁钻到我脑袋里盗取了我的思想把它整理了10条?说的太TNND对了,只是结了婚的人不能大声喝彩,免得挨拍 🙂

    其实,还有个要结婚的最重要的物理学原因:相对论!

    人们都畏惧变老,而如果只是自己在时空里旅行的话,会感觉每天都在失去一些朋友和过去。拉一个和你同方向一起做时空旅行的人的话,你们之间相对静止,这样就以为时间停止了,不那么害怕了。要不那么多人怎么想“和你一起慢慢变老“呢?

    另外那个50%偶一看就笑了,虽然50%的婚姻都last forever了,其中大概90%的都是轻量级拳手、空手道黑带、跆拳道四段、或者男女高音播音员吧,最不济也是马拉松运动员兼佛学大师、哲学博士,特有耐力,特能自持的那种,哈哈。

    • #46 by Beya on January 10, 2012 - 23:45

      哈哈哈 我大概属于女高音外加女拳击手

      • #47 by haililiu on January 11, 2012 - 16:34

        哪天把战斗自拍下来,让咱膜拜一下呗。

  22. #48 by 印月 on January 10, 2012 - 16:38

    ” 人们都畏惧变老,而如果只是自己在时空里旅行的话,会感觉每天都在失去一些朋友和过去。拉一个和你同方向一起做时空旅行的人的话,你们之间相对静止,这样就以为时间停止了,不那么害怕了。要不那么多人怎么想“和你一起慢慢变老“呢? ”

    哇,这个你怎么想出来的?牛,很独特的见解~!

    • #49 by haililiu on January 10, 2012 - 17:53

      用脚底板想出来的啊。

      到了人生的某个阶段,周末想找几个人一起耍耍,人人都说“我正跟老婆逛街呢“ “我正给孩子换尿布呢“. …. 原来漂亮妞都被他们骗走了抢光了,我才恍然大悟,闹了半天婚姻就是就是一战术啊,说好的“永恒购买“其实就是试用,还有50%以上的退货机会。哥怎么又后知后觉了呢?于是就把自己也典当出去了……

  23. #50 by sabretoothhua on January 11, 2012 - 01:31

    听起来挺臭屁的。这算是在围城外的野马奔腾吗?有一日你驰入城中,不知又会做何感。我觉着吧,结婚就是一个古老的仪式。它跟你不往绿茶里加酱油或者中秋节吃月饼相似,笼罩在一种超出理性解析范畴之外的神秘主义色彩中。

    • #51 by 印月 on January 11, 2012 - 02:07

      这是你逼我的啊,这位大哥,你多少年没沾女人了?你找个女人同居或者干脆结个婚,过上十年八年的再回来看看你的这番话。你要还能说出“笼罩在一种超出理性解析范畴之外的神秘主义色彩中”这样牛逼的句子,我以后就叫你大大哥!

      • #52 by sabretoothhua on January 11, 2012 - 02:11

        所以你明天喝茶的时候也要去试试加酱油么?哈哈哈,好开心有没有。

      • #53 by 印月 on January 11, 2012 - 02:19

        Yeah,我忘了你的偶像王小波,在[万寿寺]和[红拂夜奔]里反复描写过的一个场景,就是打造一个牢笼,把红拂关起来。你很喜欢这个场景是不是?你跟我说过是不是?

        难怪贝怂当年也恨嫁,敢情你们小波门下的,都喜欢牢笼啊!

      • #54 by sabretoothhua on January 11, 2012 - 02:47

        你浆糊了,被关的是红线,只有万寿寺里有。跟红拂半毛钱关系没有。

      • #55 by 印月 on January 11, 2012 - 02:50

        唉,撒撒水啦,红线红拂差不多啦,我的中心思想你承认么?你是不是觉得内个打造牢笼的场景很浪漫?然后很向往?

      • #56 by sabretoothhua on January 11, 2012 - 03:20

        我刚回到家。我觉得你误读了万寿寺。你有必要重读一下第六章3。ps, 红线盗盒明显是一个女权主义笔法的故事啊。

      • #57 by Jose on January 11, 2012 - 19:08

        王小波貌似还很喜欢后入式体位,小说里屡有提及

  24. #58 by Martin on January 11, 2012 - 01:32

    虽然上面10条都有点道理,但是也都不全对:
    10. it is both of your responsibility to keep each other fit and healthy
    9. try different options before you marry, well, if you are a sex-addict, then too bad, you should register as a life-member of those gentleman-club etc.
    8. not true, the gift money can be huge, it is making money actually
    7. well, unless for tax purpose, let’s just get the paperwork, see, even Sheldon follows some social convention
    6. marriage means more responsible life, not necessary lack of spontaneity, you can do all sorts of crazy things right, haven’t you heard a couple making out in public places before? I don’t think they planned that beforehand
    5. mutual compromise is costly, but its reward is a hedge in case one say suffers serious illness
    4. that depends on how creative the couple are in terms of sex making, not-married couple may also find sex boring if they are not creative
    3. totally rubbish analogy, good marriage has patterns, ok? it is a not coin flip, just like people say gambling is coin flip, but how come some people just makes money more often than others? there are patterns, stupid
    2. not necessarily, if a wife fully commits to her husband (vice versa), surely the husband can take more risk in career.
    1. I think unless there exists time machine, if you find someone you want to marry, do it, why care about future, as one economist says: in the long run, we all die, hahaha 🙂

    随便乱写的,等头发干,ok 睡了

    • #59 by 印月 on January 11, 2012 - 02:03

      这又不是学术论文,又不是法庭辩论,it’s just for fun,能get到它point的自然会会心一笑,不能的话说明您根正苗红,思想正统,绝对是未来的好丈夫好爸爸一枚。恭喜你未来的太太了。

      • #60 by Beya on January 11, 2012 - 02:21

        此ID和“等头发干”整合到一块儿,让我错乱了。。。。

      • #61 by haililiu on January 11, 2012 - 16:38

        对了!多点娱乐精神,认真会让人老得很快滴。

  25. #62 by 六年级 on January 11, 2012 - 01:43

    我刚遇见笨同学热恋正浓时怕人家求婚,说了和你最后那块中文差不多的话。幸好一番辩论后他能接受我的想法。那时有人说你年纪大了就不这样想了。我现在也中年了,想法变化不大。人和人不一样,许多所谓的共性也不是放之四海皆准。

    对贝贝说的“不就是一张纸么”,我也想过真要不在乎就连那张纸也不在乎。不过我自问自答了,那不只是一张纸。它上面有法律附加,法律附加的背面是道德附加,和许多所谓的道德一样,它也时常沦为自私狭隘的工具,扼杀人的天真本性。不认同婚姻的人多数不认同这种道德附加,尤其厌恶以道德为名背后的虚伪和丑陋。所以拿了这张纸就一定感到钉马掌上嚼子的强加。拿那张纸,等于接受并进入这种道德法律体系。你可以说我按我的方式去践行婚姻,不必认同那些人的规则。可是婚姻制度的开始本来就是基于这些东西那些人并依靠它们存活下来的,你真能一袖清风天地间么?你能,你能保证你的partner么?一生很短也很长,每个人都有变的可能。与其到时候哀叹人性丑陋,不如压根不给自己和对方依赖利用这套嚼子的机会。

    至于婚姻对孩子抚养等等的重要性阿,我以为这是法律可以解决的。而不和睦却强扭在一起的父母却是孩子们伤不起的。

    尼玛我这完全吐槽体末!

    • #63 by 印月 on January 11, 2012 - 01:52

      吐的好!!六儿我对你刮目相看,被人真心理解真开心啊!我欢乐的睡觉去了 :)

    • #64 by Beya on January 11, 2012 - 02:17

      法律附加,财产分割,小孩抚养权什么的,没啥好说的,事实婚姻成立的话,同居双方和婚姻双方具有一样的权利和义务。

      道德附加这个说法可以勉强说服我。不过我的普世道德观不是很强。对于婚姻,我个人同样保留“合则聚不合则散”的态度,并不要求“百年好合”,“白头偕老”。你和月都是完美主义者吧?也许对婚姻都有极大的完美预期,与其最后失望,不如当初就不要?

      至于“时常沦为自私狭隘的工具”, “背后的虚伪和丑陋”,本不是大多数婚姻的初衷,何必夸大?

      • #65 by 印月 on January 11, 2012 - 02:37

        我对婚姻没有任何预期,正如张爱玲说的,见过白头到老的,没见过恩爱如初的。婚姻就是那么回事。听过见过那么多家庭的例子以后,我对婚姻既不特别乐观,也不过于悲观。就那样吧。

        说穿了我就是不想负责任,不想被套牢,万一哪天我想走了,难道还要搞的跟高更一样,非得抛家弃子才能追求理想?与其这样,还不如从一开始就不要束缚,大家都是自由身,多好。

        小贝,你有没有想过,万一你婚后才遇到真爱呢?难道要离婚么?

      • #66 by 猫时间 on January 11, 2012 - 03:03

        好多评论啊,我插一句,比较同意小贝说的,月姑娘你们是不是太完美主义了呀?为了假想中将来可能的狗血画面,宁可放弃当下的花好月圆?
        最近在读一本书,非常赞同其中的观点,上帝也好,人也好,制度也好,都不可能是完美的(如果真有那就太可怕了),上帝从当初创世纪时的胡乱发怒状态开始,也在不断学习,制度也是,人也是,几千年的历史都是不断完善的过程,婚姻制度自然也是。所以我以为至少到目前为止,婚姻仍有它不可替代的美好祝福,两个人,离开父母合二为一,因为人都是自私的,都是短视的,让两个小宇宙在一起磨合恐怕是让人成长的最好历练。而只谈感情,不讲责任的两个人,恐怕将要面对的是生命不能承受之轻,换句话说,婚姻的意义原本就是责任大过感情。

        关于月月对小贝的疑问,“万一婚后才遇到真爱”要怎么办?以我未婚人士的眼光来看,要慎重,未必不可以离婚,但要能接受所有可能的后果。

        再最后,我觉得我也该表个态了,我未婚,曾经几次在婚姻面前踌躇过,同时也预演过xx后遇见真爱追悔莫及的场景,所以我决定耐心地等待,但将来,可能是很久以后,我肯定会结婚的,就此先通告一声,哈哈~~

      • #67 by 六年级 on January 11, 2012 - 03:19

        完美主义可能是有的,不过不是我对婚姻的态度的原因。

        那两个短语是有些夸大哈,应该mention另一面,就是你说的另一些人的初衷。那个初衷我也看得到。也尊重。笨同学当时就是这么回问我的。他觉得爱是婚的因,婚姻很美很纯洁。我靠,我差点儿咣当撂那儿,介四睡过那么多女人的男人的内心末?哥们儿您说话不用这么正确可以末?我最讨厌考验人我不考验你你说真话可以末?然后辨了一个多钟头,我发现人家说的还真是实话。所以贝贝我相信对于很多人来说婚姻的初衷很美好很真诚。

        我对婚姻的想法其实很简单,it just doesn’t make sense to me。对一个自己不认为有道理的东西,又加上看了许多夫妻结婚的真实原因,以及婚姻生活出现大问题之后的对待方式,更加觉得没必要强求自己去理解这个东西。但[不认同]是前提,而不是观察别人的经验所得到的结论。我这个想法从16岁开始起,至今没转变。

        你说的合则聚不合则散,其实就是不要婚姻吧?婚姻的一部分职责就是在尽量减少这个不合则散的随意性对么?我个人理解哈。不知澳洲法律是怎样的,反正美国的状况是,不合,想散?尼玛打起官司来!好聚好散的少。而且通常必须是双方经济基础很接近的。呃,这一拽又拽远了。内个,基本大意就是,因为不认同婚姻的逻辑,所以也没有预期。所以没有失望与否。

      • #68 by Beya on January 11, 2012 - 03:59

        正面回答月的问题:离婚!离婚咋了?现在又不是80年代了,离个婚又没人指指点点的?况且,我并不在意别人怎么看我。以前我对离婚了的女友说:没什么好抱怨的,你当年也幸福过,也享受过好时光。现在两个人在一起感受不到了,离婚不是很好的一件事么?我今天换位思考的话,还是这么想。

        澳洲有很多COUPLE不结婚,共同生活,共同买房,共同养家育儿。这种同居和婚姻有什么不同?分手?一样!上法庭?一样!去年参加了一对COUPLE的订婚仪式,这俩在一起七年,小孩生了三个。对于他们的订婚,用小戈妈的话说:WHY BOTHER? 如果这种同居类型的人来吐嘈婚姻,诉求自由,我也只好说:WHY BOTHER? WHO CARES IF YOU ARE MARRIED OR NOT.

        我也是不想负责任的一个人,这就是为什么我一直还不生小孩的原因,育人的责任比婚姻的责任重得多。婚姻还能好聚好散,生了孩子就是一辈子的事了。一想到我以后上有老下有小,我就全身心颤抖。。。内天真来了,也只能抗着。

        猫猫说的对:昏也好不昏也好,个人选择而已。没必要互相不理解。

  26. #69 by 世緯 on January 11, 2012 - 03:14

    “合则聚,不合则散。”,印月风趣幽默,让我和大众心仪不已,只是没想到也有放不下,不能磊磊落落的时候。

    伴清风,寻明月,和三五知己有情人在一起,做快乐的事,爱情会有很多沟通。或许洗洗睡了,明天会是一个晴朗的天。

    • #70 by 印月 on January 11, 2012 - 13:17

      我哪儿不磊落了?不回你短信吗?

      Here’s a little advice for ya, please stop texting/calling me before someone gets blocked .. “someone, I’m not gonna say who, someone”

  27. #71 by dengaiwu on January 11, 2012 - 04:58

    月姑娘这篇关于婚姻的文章引起如此热烈讨论说明婚姻不但个人人关心的问题,而且也确是仁者见仁智者见智的问题。好像参与讨论的以女童鞋为主,男童鞋发表看法的不多,只有haili童鞋旗帜鲜明地赞同这十条,而且还说出来俺们已婚男童鞋不敢大声喝彩的原因。(“说的太TNND对了,只是结了婚的人不能大声喝彩,免得挨拍”。)

    刚才打开电视看新闻,CNN正播2012共和党总统竞选人Mitt Romeny在电视上掰乎,我关心的倒不是Romeny有多能掰乎以至赢得New Hampshire选票,而是瞅着他身后立着的那金发碧眼笑眯眯的妻子和俩个子高高、傻乎乎的儿子。当然这是美国总统选举乃至地方选举的传统,竞选时家人齐上阵,不管参加竞选的家长水瓶如何,家人都竭尽所能全力支持。这场面在中国估计你是看不到的,当然中国也不搞这类选举辩论。

    由此可以看到是:西方国家(日本除外)人民都是十分注重家庭的,而不像咱中国人民过于关心所谓事业成功云云。从本人这些年因工作关系接触过的西方男同胞来看,多数是婚前尽情潇洒、尝便各色女人,婚后立马收敛、注重婚姻家庭。这方面我非常同意6童鞋的darling-笨童鞋所说”爱是婚的因,婚姻很美很纯洁“。当然也不是绝对的,荷尔蒙分泌甚多的已婚克林顿婚后照样沾花惹草便是明证。

    与西方男同胞不同的是,中国男同胞婚前似乎做不到尝便各色女人(原因很多此就不一一阐述),于是就有了婚后瞒着老婆逮着机会就偷腥的诸多案例。当然这也不是绝对,比如你不能因为haili老弟因为赞同这十条就一定如此这般一样。已婚夫妻婚后彼此忠诚不忠诚说到底还是看夫妻双方感情基础与程度如何、双方的道德价值观如何、个人素质高低等等诸多因素。当然也不能说个人素质高的就一定不会出轨,我认识的不少科学院工程院院士素质不谓不高吧,但我跟他们接触多了,也知道他们做的那些丑事儿。但他们会说”总理都说过,主席也是人嘛!何况我哉“。

    想不到这一掰乎离主题越来越远,还是打住吧。就一点,我认为还未结婚的童鞋们不妨学学美国人:婚前尽情潇洒、婚后注重家庭。婚姻其实也没那么可怕,只要不过分追求完美,有趣和谐的婚姻家庭生活还是蛮有意思的。

  28. #72 by 小彬先生 on January 11, 2012 - 17:43

    两个人在一起挺好,就行了。结婚这事,说不清明。如果你自由惯了,就不要干这事。

  29. #73 by Li on January 11, 2012 - 18:34

    我觉得结婚这事情是不能拿来辩证思考的,越思考越没有勇气去做了。爱情始终是基础,结不结婚都无所谓,但凡真去结婚都要有一霎那的不怕死精神加上昏头才能完成。作为不婚主义者竟然在二十出头就被我老公劈头盖脸没完没了地领证提议给炸昏头了,至今想来仍心惊胆战于当时的不怕死,不过日子该怎么过还怎么过,头上也没长出角来变成大怪兽。爱了就爱了,结了就结了,没什么大不了。将来怎么着,将来的你我必定会比如今更加智慧勇敢能结实处理好。

    • #74 by 印月 on January 11, 2012 - 23:21

      恩,一点没错。我等着头一昏心一横眼一闭的内天。嘿嘿。

  30. #75 by Jose on January 11, 2012 - 19:06

    月楼主,你可千万别婚,你一婚,得伤了多少粉丝们的心啊 !!!!!!

  31. #76 by Bree Merchen on January 11, 2012 - 20:01

    I always was interested in this subject and still am, appreciate it for putting up.

  32. #77 by Chen on January 11, 2012 - 21:58

    月月,你要真结婚了一定会是个好妻子,就是不知道谁有那个福气娶到你 : )

    • #78 by 印月 on January 11, 2012 - 23:19

      Chen哥你少消遣我,改天请你吃红烧肉。我现在多了门手艺啦,做红烧肉!

  33. #79 by Chen on January 12, 2012 - 18:31

    When?

    • #80 by 印月 on January 13, 2012 - 00:29

      Next Sat?

      • #81 by Chen on January 13, 2012 - 17:42

        Deal !

  34. #82 by michaeljwei on January 13, 2012 - 11:38

    就注意到你时薪大于200镑了。 一天8小时1600,一个月算工作20天32000, 一年12个月 384000
    你年薪就可以在伦敦买套小房,真是相当可以的富婆呀。
    估计很快就有很多人来求包养了吧 😀

    • #83 by 印月 on January 13, 2012 - 11:49

      资本家是怎么盘剥替他们工作的人的?钱大部分都不归我好吗!我很穷的,我还想被包养呢。。

      That being said, I’ll probably work freelance in 2 years

  35. #84 by enjilarlar on January 14, 2012 - 13:58

    我现在体会最深的一句话就是:婚姻是爱情的坟墓。不过,我明白,假如没有这块坟墓,爱情将死无葬身之地。

  36. #85 by 印月 on January 14, 2012 - 18:00

    楼上金句。不过曝尸荒野也没什么不好。: )

  37. #86 by 世緯 on January 15, 2012 - 07:36

    还有一种可能,婚姻是爱情的坟墓,坟墓建好了,爱情却逃走了,活得挺滋润的,因为它还没到死的时候。

    再有一种可能,婚姻其实不是爱情的坟墓。婚姻是爱情的男朋友/丈夫,当爱情找到了婚姻,就找到了一个坚实的肩膀。婚姻和爱情两个人住在一起,就像王子和公主过着开心的生活。

    凡事都有可能,换个思维,可能会得出完全不同结论。看/听一面,或许狭隘。

  38. #87 by M2 on January 17, 2012 - 05:57

    Good post

  39. #88 by Brianne Dudas on January 17, 2012 - 14:24

    Awesome post! I will keep an on eye on your blog.

  40. #89 by 老王子 on January 18, 2012 - 17:48

    好人!告诉我一下豆瓣那个帖子的地址吧!

    • #90 by 印月 on January 18, 2012 - 18:19

      豆瓣红人哥,你股沟下第一条就是啊。。

      直播。我在美国做escort.
      http://www.douban.com/note/190158930/

    • #91 by Beya on January 19, 2012 - 03:15

      此老王子是豆瓣上那个写父亲春运遭遇的老王子么???????

    • #92 by 印月 on January 19, 2012 - 10:37

      对头,王子同学还给 [独唱团] 写过文章~

  41. #93 by Tamesha Wahba on January 19, 2012 - 08:53

    Its wonderful as your other posts : D, appreciate it for posting . “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it” by Steven Wright.

  42. #94 by 6 on January 21, 2012 - 19:04

    "曝尸荒野也没什么不好。"
    哈哈!!然也。不惧,人生佳境。
    过年好啊印月~

  43. #95 by 印月 on January 22, 2012 - 15:08

    大哥大嫂过年好!!!!!

    我有一个多星期看不到更新啦,WP的subscription系统又出问题了。。

  44. #96 by Rosie on January 25, 2012 - 02:17

    Just saw the article below, think you’ll roger it

    http://www.globalrencai.com/do-not-marry-before-age-30/

    • #97 by 印月 on January 25, 2012 - 17:06

      看了几篇,这位姐姐我很喜欢,说话跟我一个调调,嘿嘿

  45. #98 by Roy on January 27, 2012 - 00:18

    妩媚而刚劲,赞

  46. #99 by Tony on February 2, 2012 - 08:01

    围观

  47. #100 by Alva Donnie on February 4, 2012 - 22:16

    Hello.This article was really interesting, particularly because I was browsing for thoughts on this topic last Monday.

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